today i'm pondering... festival wear

Before I start, I should probably mention that I don't do festivals. I've never been to one. I've never had the slightest inclination to go to one. I just don't understand the appeal. I've never been much of a live music person anyway; the only two proper gigs I've ever been to have been my favourite bands in the entire world (Death Cab for Cutie and Maroon 5, since you ask). I don't like the idea of being squished in between a load of drunk people bouncing up and down and inhaling their body odour. Put the gig outside, and add mud, a lack of toilets and a general absence of any hygiene to the equation, and you pretty much have my idea of hell. And don't even get me started on the idea of sleeping in a tent. So yeah. Not a festival person. The only aspect of festivals that does appeal to me is festival-appropriate attire. I'm quite taken with the idea of dressing myself in wellies, a Barbour jacket and a hippy-esque headband, even if I probably never actually would in real life. So I've decided, in the interest of being terribly au courant ('tis the season of the festival, after all), to dedicate this blog to pondering what I would, hypothetically, in an alternate universe, wear to a festival, even though I will never have any need of my conclusions.

So let's start off with a bit of fashinspiration, shall we? And who else could we look to but the eponymous queen of festival fashion, Miss Alexa Chung? This picture is in fact from a few years ago, but is still highly covetable as festival wear, and offers a number of helpful festival-dressing rules: 1) You can't go wrong with a Breton top. This actually applies to almost any situation in life, not just festivals. Gosh, I do love a Breton top. 2) You can't go wrong with a little leather jacket either. 3) Wellies are a must. I don't care if it looks sunny, I doubt any other shoes are equipped to deal with standing in cowpat/puddles of cider/puddles of something that looks like cider, but really isn't. 4) Over-the-knee socks are perfect for festivals, because you probably won't want to have too much flesh on show, and they will therefore sex up your outfit just the right amount. Plus it's rarely warm enough for bare legs, and tights will look out of place. 5) When in doubt, reach for some denim.

So here are a few Alexa-inspired pieces to help you recreate this presenter's effortless festival charm: first, in place of Miss Chung's ubiquitous Barbour jacket, try Topshop's Wax Cord Jacket, a rather lovely (and rather cheaper at £80) imitation. Under this, sling on Topshop's Slubby Breton Stripe Tee, £16, and these gorgeous Whistles Boyfriend Denim Shorts, £50 at Asos.com (looove the Whistles). Finally finish off your look with Miss Selfridge's lustworthy Black Croc Wellies, just £25, and Topshop's Rib Over Knee Socks, £6. Sorted!

Alexa has therefore provided us with a sterling example of what to wear to a good, old-fashioned, rainy British festival. It's just the right mix of practicality and sartorial perfection. But what to wear if, perchance, the sun does deign to come out? Well, we need only look over the pond to the ever-gorgeous Kate Bosworth, who wore a rather magical ensemble to the Coachella festival in California:

Now, admittedly, much of the reason why this outfit is so fabulous hinges on Kate's mile-long, tanned legs and artfully dishevelled, sun-bleached hair. But this is not to discredit her perfectly understated sunny festival attire. Note how the neutral-coloured crochet dress (a Topshop number, incidentally), which wouldn't look out of place in a bar, is cleverly dressed down with cute little cowboy boots and Mulberry's canvas 'Leah' bag for a look that screams festival perfection, while also avoiding looking too studied or fussy.

Now you just need to bag yourself some similarly hardworking pieces to recreate Kate's lovely summery look (we'll work on the perfect limbs and hair later, eh?). Sadly her exact Topshop frock has sold out, but I reckon her winning accessory formula of ankle boots + canvas bag will work a treat to festival-ify most minidresses (yes, I'm rescinding my wellies-only rule a little, but hey, I never claimed to be consistent). I've found a lovely substitute in Miss Selfridge's Cream Cable Stitch Knit Dress, reduced from £37 to an incredible £12. Its knitted fabric means it's more seasonally appropriate than Kate's crochet, but gives the same slinky silhouette. Pair this beauty with Topshop's Canvas Washed Large Tote Bag, £40, a dead ringer for its Mulberry counterpart, and finish the look with Mango's Paris Low Heel Ankle Boots, £70 at Asos.com. Lovely, understated chic.

And lastly I've selected the outfit of a lady whose name I do not know, since I found her on a street style website. But I think she's got festival dressing down to a T.

It's a simple outfit, but this young lady makes use of a whole host of styling tricks to bring her outfit right up to date: 1) Pick a maxi skirt in an easy fabric and plain colour. Tiered, frothy, brightly-coloured or printed maxiskirts (or indeed maxidresses) will look fussy and dated. Choose jersey pieces in a muted palette for a failsafe festival staple. 2) Keep your jewellery simple, but eye-catching. This stylish girl's super-long pendant necklace creates a focal point and pretties up her simple vest without looking over-styled. 3) Put your hair in a messy topknot. Practical, in that it means it will be out of your face (probably a good plan if you're not going to be able to wash it for a while), but also very now, dahling. 4) Cinch your waist with a skinny tan belt. I've mentioned this accessory before but this picture proves it goes with absolutely everything.

So there you have it. Recreate our anonymous festival-goer's look with a few simple pieces; Topshop's Maxi Slip Skirt, £40, is the only blush-pink version I could find, but there are jersey black ones aplenty on the high street for as little as £10. Pair this with Topshop's Basic V Neck Vest, £6, and Topshop's Rose On Chain Necklace, £7.50 (I've just bought this and I love it). Finally knot Asos' Square Buckle Skinny Boyfriend Belt, £8, around your waist, and voilà! Easy festival dressing all sewn up.

I think that's pretty much covered what to wear to a festival... now just don't forget to pack baby wipes, suncream and dry shampoo. See you there.... or not!

Picture of Alexa Chung: Channel4.com
Picture of Kate Bosworth: Instyle.co.uk
Street style picture: Glamourmagazine.co.uk